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Unrealistic Expectations...

I sometimes find the best way to cope with silly arguments about God, morality and the crazy things being touted today as “common knowledge”,  is to merely apply common sense and not surrender to any point being argued about God’s existence,  and comments about  “right and wrong” if it patently wrong and separates from sound reason.

It is the ability to look at our faith, with reason, that separates us from many other religions. Since Thomas Aquinas, at least, we’ve agreed that faith and reason should (must) go together if we are to fulfill Christ’s commission to “make disciples in all nations”.

I am not a psychoanalyst or therapist, so I realize that I am not talking as an expert, but I recently talked to some experts about my challenges with one of my adopted sons. It was explained to me  that much of the challenges we’re facing in my family is a result of my “unrealistic expectations” for the son we were dealing with.  When pressed, the therapists explained that my house rules that included, “make your bed, pick up your clothes and lift the toilet seat” each morning were unrealistic for a teenager.  This, and the fact that she heard me tell him during one of his sessions that I intended to teach him how to work for a living, was an “unrealistic behavioral goal” for a thirteen year old boy.  

Needless to say, I disagreed based not merely upon Biblical principles (“if you don’t work you don’t eat”), but common sense.  And that’s the point I am learning.  The greatest defense/apologetics against atheist, socialists, communists and the other crackpots out there is compassion and common sense. I have to be careful to think I have it all right and they have it all wrong when I confront the idiocy of the county social service agencies, therapists and advocates of children’s rights. And I must recall that God loves them just as He does me, and that they might be acting out of the sincere opinion that they are right. But the worse thing I can do (tempting as it is) it to attack them for the pronouncements—-I must speak to them gently and with compassion (and that’s not easy to do when they’re calling you the devil) and appeal to reason and common sense. Will it change their opinion? Probably not—-but that’s how I want to be treated when I am dead wrong.

None of us have all the answers in how to raise a child—that’s clear. But even the “wisest” counsel that goes contrary to what the Creator has told us in regard to how we raise children, treat each other and order our families has sown the seeds of confusion and dysfunction for the next generation. I am praying for a true awakening in our society….


Dean Barley

1945 Vineyard Road

Westfield, NC 27053

336 351 2070

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