On not forgiving.....

“Then Peter came and said to him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?”

“Jesus said to him, "I don't tell you until seven times, but, until seventy seven times. Therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who wanted to reconcile accounts with his servants. When he had begun to reconcile, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But because he couldn't pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, with his wife, his children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down and knelt before him, saying, 'Lord, have patience with me, and I will repay you all!' The lord of that servant, being moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.”

"But that servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, who owed him one hundred denarii,  and he grabbed him, and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'

"So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will repay you!' He would not, but went and cast him into prison, until he should pay back that which was due. So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were exceedingly sorry, and came and told to their lord all that was done. Then his lord called him in, and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt, because you begged me. Shouldn't you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, even as I had mercy on you?' His lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors, until he should pay all that was due to him. So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you don't each forgive your brother from your hearts for his misdeeds." Matthew 18:21–35

Again, a scary parable.  But first, some perspective: 10,000 talents was owed to the ruler. That amount to be about 200,000 years' wages.   It’s a big number—in the neighborhood of $10,000,000,000.  The servant was hopelessly  in debt.  So this servant must have been some sort of governor for the “lord” or “ruler"—there’s no other way he could have run up such a tab!

There is no place in the Bible where someone is debt is placed in jail to pay for debts.  But the crowd understood this analogy, because under Roman law there is a detailed set of laws in this regard.  A debtor who could not pay could be taken to court and put in chains and forced to work off the debt through servitude. Also it states that others can come and pay the debt on their behalf, thus releasing them from prison. A debt that cannot be paid resulted in slavery to the creditor or sale on the slave market.  This man was in a hopeless situation.

Surely you see the point here.  We owe God a lot more than we can ever pay.  The debt we carry is “sin”, that is, not being the people He created us to be. We’ve all sinned and come up short. Our good deeds and confession of sin falls ridiculously short of the total debt. We’re all in trouble.  Micah 6:8 states that, “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”  Ok, there it. Do you—all the time follow these simple demands from your Creator? If you don’t, you’ve violated your obligations to Him—just like those that offend you have violated their obligations to you!

The penalty, or consequences for sin, is death and eternal separation from God, along with the forfeiture of all the unimaginable things He prepared for us before we were even born!  What a loss and what a pitiful situation we are in!  I have a debt owed to God that I simply cannot pay even if I lived 200,000 lives!  We cannot redeem ourselves—and that’s the rub for some people. We have no other option than to humble ourselves and beg for His mercy—-that’s how a person approaches a holy God. And there are many people that simply refuse to humble themselves and be helped.

So this ruler, for some unexplained reason had compassion(!), forgives this man of billions in debt. Now, can you imagine the joy of having that load removed from your ledger?  Debt will suffocate you!  So to walk away from ten billion in debt—to be totally debt free—must have been an incredibly intoxicating sensation! Walking on air!!! Fist bumps….throwing your hands in the air!

I remind you that the ruler forgave the man because of the kind of man that he was—-a compassionate ruler.  But someone was $10,000,000,000 poorer—and it was the ruler.  He turned his back on a fortune because of his love for that little servant. Jesus died on the cross because of God’s compassion for you and me.  I don’t know why He loves us, but He does. The debt of all our sins have been forgiven because Jesus paid the debt. Someone had to take the loss for our sins…. and it was Jesus that agreed to do it and make things right.

But notice what happened after the incredible generosity of the ruler.  The servant found a fellow servant that owed him about $20 and demanded immediate payment!  This fellow servant was just as sorry and apologetic as the one that was just forgiven, but the forgiven servant had no compassion at all on his friend. He had the man thrown into jail for $20!  Doesn’t it make you angry that this man was so unflinching and unkind?  I hope that unkindness nauseates you, especially because the one being unkind is a servant that’s been forgiven of a huge debt—-and that, of course, is what you and I are—-as are all Christians. We’ve had our debts obliterated forever by the blood of Jesus!  But are we allowing small debts owed to us, along with insults or disagreements to justify our indifference, or rage and meanness to other people?  It should make you and me sick to our stomachs to see fellow Christians, or ourselves(!) behave like this!

C.S. Lewis said, “Forgiveness is a beautiful word, until you have something to forgive!”

But when the ruler found out that his servant had not shown forgiveness, he was furious. The Greek translations suggests "was wroth" or “was very angry” or "burned with anger".  Again, the people listening to Jesus were living  under Roman civil law.  When they got into debt,  sometimes they were delivered by their creditors to tormentors, who put them in prison, and tortured them. The Emperor Constantine the Great, from Christian kindness, ended the punishment of scourging debtors, but it was a crime to not pay your debts on time!

Now listen: Jesus says that this is how His Father will treat us if we receive forgiveness, and then don’t show forgiveness to others.  The early church believed that at the judgment the tormentors will be demons, those who will  torment the souls of the damned in hell until they should pay—which of course means that they must be tormented forever, because they could never pay the full debt.

Jesus ended the parable with a warning…” unless you forgive from your hearts”.  Jesus knew the hearts of all men—-and He knows your heart and mine today. Outward forgiveness is just as useless as demanding that a child say, “I am sorry”, when the child has zero remorse.  Forgiveness has no value or merit in God’s eyes unless it comes from the “heart”.

What if we don’t forgive like this, i.e., with the heart?  We risk being refused forgiveness by God, plain and simple, or Jesus is a liar.  James wrote, "For judgement will be without mercy to anyone who has shown no mercy" (James 2:13). Now think about that and let it sink in. Do you forgive from your heart or are you still holding a grudge? “From the heart” = “with love and compassion”.

Think about the Lord’s prayer: “Forgive us of our sins as we forgive those that sin against us….” How do you want God to treat you after He’s forgiven your sins?

There’s no denying it. We have to forgive others if we want forgiveness.  Jesus was crystal clear: “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:15)

So why in heaven’s name don’t some of us forgive and why are all of us tempted to hold onto the bad things that other’s have done to us. Why not forgive!?  George Herbert was right when he wrote, “He who cannot forgive others, burns the bridge over which he must pass himself.”  It will ruin your life if you hold onto hate, revenge and despise another person.

I am sure that each of you have your reasons for not forgiving someone. Sometimes it makes us feel superior, or to have an advantage over someone if we don’t forgive them.  Withholding forgiveness makes you think that you now have the power to make your offender feel inferior to you and  uncomfortable around you. And for some folks, that’s a good feeling.  Not letting go of offenses nurtures the idea that you’ve been done wrong and it gives you an excuse for your attitude, your relationships, or areas where you’ve failed.

Too many withhold forgiveness because they don't believe the person who hurt them has changed or will change.  But aren’t you glad that God’s forgiveness is not like that?   Forgiveness will allow you to move forward after being hurt instead of staying stuck in the past because of unreleased resentment.  Holding onto hurts makes you bitter, and frankly, no fun to work with or play with.

But one of the most common reasons folks don’t forgive is that they are afraid to send the message that what happened was “okay”..  But it’s one thing to say, “I forgive you”, but quite another to say, “It doesn’t matter” or “it didn’t hurt”.  It’s because it did hurt and that you really don’t want it to happen again, that makes forgiveness so noble. It will probably happen again, you may be hurt once more, but we worship a God that is watching and is able to keep us from stumbling and is able to change the end results——if we trust Him and let go of holding onto hurt.

Forgiving someone does not mean you are okay with what happened. Forgiveness has little to do with the hurtful act itself or the well-being of the offender. In most situations, it is a given that what happened was not okay. By forgiving, we are making a conscious decision to let go of any resentment, vengeance, or anger that came from being hurt.  Why?   Because we know that we have been forgiven of so much more and we will be better off not having those emotions and thoughts floating around inside us.  Frankly, you cannot experience the joy of knowing that you are “okay” with God, if you are holding onto a grudge against someone else. His forgiveness, and our willingness to forgive others, go together, according to Jesus.

The dumbest reason to not forgive is because we think that they don’t deserve to be forgiven.

Too many people refuse to forgive because they believe the person who hurt them needs to hurt as well. They confuse justice with healing. Justice is something that should be addressed in the courtroom or by God. The person who hurt you might not deserve forgiveness, but neither do you or I.   And living  with the resentment and bitterness towards another soul in no way harms them! It just holds you back from abundant living and joy!

The Bible says, “love keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Cor. 13:5). Forgiveness is not reduced to a number. It’s an attitude. A matter of the heart. A spirit of compassion. Love. Mercy. And grace.

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”  (C.S. Lewis)

If we are to trust what Jesus is recorded as saying, then one of His most disturbing and sobering words were these: “So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you don't each forgive your brother from your hearts for his misdeeds.”  You’ve now heard the truth. You have to forgive, from your heart, those that have cheated you, laughed at you, used you, even abused you.

Each of us have wounds that were unfairly placed on our backs.  Each of us have good reason to want to “get even” with someone that has grotesquely taken advantage of us.  Most of the world goes about evening the score or dancing on the graves of those that abused them—-but not the disciple of Jesus.  He had far more reason to want to get even, or expect justice, or dream about  His tormentors burning in hell—-after all, they stripped Him, spat upon Him mocked Him, nearly beat Him to death and then nailed Him on cross.  Not a one of us have endured what He accepted from those evil men.  But His words were not about retribution or hate, but love.  He said, “Father forgive them—they don’t know what they are doing!”  Well, in their minds they knew exactly what they did and they probably enjoyed doing it. But they had no idea of what the “wrath of God” meant. Jesus wanted to save them from that—-so He asked God to have mercy on them.  Jesus is asking you and me the same today—-“forgive them—-those that have hurt you—-they don’t know what they’re doing…..”